An open love letter to the Seattle Mariners

By Editorial Staff

I know this may invite all kinds of bad mojo from some corners of the Interwebs, but I’m going to do it anyway: Thank you so much Seattle Mariners for lifting the A’s out of last place on the … um … strength? Sure, strength of your 16-game losing streak.

Trust me, I feel your pain and this is simply gallows humor from one fan of a horrible team to another. It wasn’t all that long ago that the A’s were mired in a 10-game losing streak while players in Oakland and across the nation were coming out of the woodwork to blast manager Bob Geren.

Former Athletic Huston Street delivered the best line during that whole fiasco when he called Geren the “least favorite person I have ever encountered in sports from age 6 to 27.” I’d love to meet the biggest jerks he met from the ages of 0 to 6 and 27 to Whenever just to compare them to Geren. The former A’s skipper appears to be the president of a very exclusive club. He’d probably call that a coincidence but I’ll tip my cap to Bobo anyway.

Fortunately, the A’s eventually fired Geren. I guess the closest thing the Mariners have to that glorious moment in an inglorious season is manager Eric Wedge shaving off that gawdawful porn ‘stache he’s been sporting all year.

But canning Geren didn’t halt Oakland’s fall into the cellar and clearly Wedge ditching the cringe-worthy facial hair didn’t make a bit of difference if tonight’s 10-3 beating at the hands of the New York Yankees is any evidence.

There’s a lot of baseball left to play this season and there’s a pretty good chance that the A’s and Mariners will spend the rest of this miserable campaign fighting over the keys to the cellar of the AL West. In a week or two Oakland could easily be on the bottom looking up again.

And that’s the exact reason that I have to savor the moment and revel in the fact that at least for a little while I can say that I’m not a fan of a last place team. For that, I thank sincerely thank the Seattle Mariners.

Mariners fans can feel free to return the favor if/when the A’s go into a tailspin after their fire sale at the trade deadline and your club is cruising along in third place again.

That SoDo Mojo has to kick in again for ya at some point, right?

There are certain moments in a lost season when you can’t help but laugh at how bad things can get. It’s either that or cry into your beer and at about $10 a pop at the ballpark that’s an utter waste of a good beer in a thoroughly wasted season for the green and gold.