A’s Lose: A Haiku


The A’s can’t get a win if their post season dreams depended on it…which they do. Mandatory Credit: Joe Nicholson-USA TODAY Sports

More from Oakland A's News

During last night’s A’s game, I logged onto the Twitter and made a promise to my loyal reader. I promised that if the A’s won, I’d write the recap in the style of Dr. Seuss and if the A’s lost, I’d write in a series of haiku poems. I’m a man of my word, that’s how I got a loyal reader in the first place, and the A’s lost (again) so here is your recap haiku.

James Paxton pitches
Josh Donaldson lone man on
No A’s score a run

Jason Hammel starts
Robinson Cano Homers
Mariners up one

Paxton sees just three
Only throws eleven balls
No A’s score a run

Kyle Seager walks
Mike Zunino RBI’s
Mariners up two

Sam Fuld walks and steals
Donaldson brings him home safe
Left the bases full

Soto leaves the game
Designated hitter gone
Hammel has to bat

Hammel tries to bunt
Recahes first on an error
Nate Freiman ties game

Logan Morrison
Homers in another run
Mariners up one

First major league hit
For Billy Burns who then steals
No A’s score a run

Hammel pulled from game
Kendrys Morales homers
Mariners up two

Paxton out of game
Carson Smith, three up, three down
No A’s score a run

Dan Otero throws
Gives up a double, no runs
Only faces four

Adam Dunn at bat
Alberto Callaspo, first
No A’s score a run

Evan Scribner throws
Sees the minimum batters
Mariners up two

Brandon Moss on base
Sam Fuld moves him to second
No A’s score a run

Game 1 is a loss
A’s win three in September
Not the pitcher’s fault

Promise is fleeting
Hope is turning to anger
Desperation time

These A’s don’t play well
They are better than they play
Playoff berth is close

Tonight is the king
They never win against him
They’d better win now

Die hard fans are here
Band wagon fans have all left
Win for the loyals

Don’t make Fosse cry
With tee times in October
Post season or bust

I don’t know what tonight’s recap will look like. Iambic pentameter? A dirty limerick? Four paragraphs without using the letter r? I don’t know. All I know is that it’d better be a win.