The meltdown was getting out of hand and the team seemed to mirror the 2014 Athletics. After finally having had enough with failure, Bob Melvin pulled the guys into the locker room for a closed door meeting.
“You guys remember last year? You remember how great you were and how you threw it away because Moss couldn’t stop crying about Cespedes? Moss is gone! Who’s the ginger cry baby now?”
“He hates being called ginger,” Coco interrupted.
“Not now, Coco!” Melvin exclaimed. “You guys are a better team than this. You’re embarrassing yourself out there! We are Oakland Athletics. We have nothing to be embarrassed about, excluding our sewage problem, historic low attendance, comical attempts at stadium construction and Moss’ crying. You are part of a storied franchise. Ray Fosse played for this team. Ray !@#$ Fosse, ya’ll. Get your heads in this game and get us back on track! Now, let’s figure out where Gags is hiding and get out there and play!”
Coco stood up and began to slow clap. Then Sogard, then Gentry, then Zobrist (who was pretty upset about being excluded from this story) until the entire clubhouse was standing and clapping and touching Coco’s afro.