Jose Canseco shares his theory about dreams
By David Hill
Jose Canseco is back tweeting his thoughts. This time, the former Oakland A’s slugger has a theory about dreams.
It has been a while since Jose Canseco was on Twitter. Perhaps he was smarting from yet another failed attempt to slide into J-Lo’s DMs. Perhaps he was too busy with his car wash to spend time on social media. Or perhaps he was too busy getting high and seeing aliens and Bigfoot. The world may never know.
But fortunately, Canseco has awoken from his slumber. After lamenting that his favorite punching bag, Alex Rodriguez, has more followers than he does, Canseco unveiled a new theory – this time, discussing dreams and what happens when you die in your sleep.
Fortunately, Canseco, amongst his many talents and extensive knowledge, understands dreams. It’s just a matter of control – learn to control your dreams, and you can control not just this life, but the afterlife as well. Just listen to the all knowing Canseco.
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Unfortunately, his lessons in dream control ended at one. But in that one lesson, he imparted some valuable advice – to ask oneself whether or not they are dreaming during a dream. Of course, there is the issue of whether or not one can ask themselves questions while sleeping, but that is a debate for another time.
To his credit, there is interest in lucid dreaming. People are attempting to build machines to allow humans to do just that, and these types of dreams may be medically beneficial. But none of these studies are attempting to find a gateway to another plane of existence or the afterlife. Only Canseco can truly fathom the potential of such power.
One would normally wonder if the lockdown was getting to Canseco, but ramblings such as that are commonplace. Instead, one has to wonder how much damage that Carlos Martinez fly ball did when it hit Canseco in the head.
At least we still have Jose Canseco to keep us entertained. Sadly, he probably does not realize that he is the punchline.